Yeee Hah.  

The Hazzard County, Georgia Driver's Test


1. When a police car approaches you from the rear, lights flashing, you should:

throw your beer can out the window and pull cautiously and slowly over to the side of the road. 
change lanes to give the cops the right-of-way and flip them off as they pass.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

2. When driving in dangerous conditions or inclement weather, you should:

watch for cops, and take a drink to calm your nerves.
drive more slowly than the speed limit. 
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

3. When approaching a railroad crossing, you should:

stop if there are red lights flashing and you need to pee anyway.
slow down and exercise caution even if there are no lights flashing.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

4. If you are involved in any type of  accident, you are required by law to:

assist any injured, call police, stop and exchange insurance information with the others involved.
hide any empty beer cans under the front seat and phone your best friend.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

5. At an intersection controlled by stoplights, a green arrow indicates you may:

make a protected turn.
take a good drink of your Budweiser, spit, and open another can of Bud and Copenhagen.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

6. If a child under 4 years is riding in the vehicle with you, you must:

make sure that he or she is seated and wearing a seatbelt,  proper child restraint or car seat.
make sure that he or she is laying on the floor behind the driver's  seat and not on your 6 pack of  beer.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

7. The blood-alcohol limit for legal driving is:

0.10 percent.
it doesn't matter in Georgia.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

8.  If a passenger in your vehicle suddenly becomes ill, you should:

proceed calmly and cautiously to the nearest hospital or fire station.
open another beer and stop to laugh about it at the closest package store.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

9.  If a dog or cat runs into the street, and you accidentally hit the animal, you should:

proceed calmly and cautiously to the nearest police station and report the incident.
back up, drive over the animal again, call your cousin Bobbie Sue  and see if she would like some Chinese Take-Out.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

10.  If you encounter any incident of  "road rage" you should:

proceed calmly and cautiously away from the area avoiding any conflict.
reach in the glove-box, grab your Smith & Wesson and fire a round at the idiot.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

11.  If you happen to see a lady hitch-hiker you should:

continue on your way keeping your eyes on the road,  your hands on the wheel and your mind alert.
hit the skids, back up and see if she is drunk and/or worth the stop.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

12.  Any emergency vehicle such as an ambulance or fire truck with flashing lights:

is OK to follow at high speed and sounding your horn without worry of the cops stopping you.
always has the right-of-way and you must yield the road safely.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

13.  If you approach a sobriety check-point road block you should:

hang onto your liquor bottle and try to avoid an accident as you swerve through the cops, cars, and barricades.
approach slowly with caution observing the police officer's directions.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

14.  When approaching a traffic control area around road construction you should:

approach cautiously and at slow speed observing the flag man's directions.
wave at the flag-waving jerk and toss him your half empty beer as you fly by, sounding your horn as a cautionary warning.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

15.    Should you notice that you are being tail-gated you should:

slow down and allow the vehicle behind you to pass safely.  Never slam on your brakes.
lower your driver-side window, reach for your Glock 36 and fire a round or two at the jerk.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

16.    When you approach a slow moving vehicle, such as a farm tractor or school bus you must:

take the opportunity to stop on the shoulder of the road, pee on your tires and open another beer.
slow down! and drive carefully until you are able to pass or the slow moving vehicle turns off the main road.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

17.    When you come upon a sport cyclist climbing a mountain road you should:

always slow down, remember to share the road, and pass the bicyclist only when it is safe.
sound your horn repeatedly, throw your empty corn liquor or beer bottle at him, and force the two wheeling jerk off the road.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.

18.     If you should come upon a crowd of day-laborers gathered near the roadside:

roll down your window and holler: ninguna cerveza, ningužn trabajo, mi amigo!
slow down, keep your hands on the wheel and watch for anyone running into the road.
yell "Yeee-haaa!" and floor it.








After you select your answers,

press the "go" button and see 

your results below.






adapted 2006-2011  by edhackemer

credit to: Lore SjŲberg


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"Someday the mountain might get 'em, but the law never will."


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